The Letting Go
by firstadream
Summary: A possible fix for that heartbreaking meet-the-friends scenario. Spoilers for the leaked 5x03 scenes. Gail/Holly
1. The Letting Go

_So that leaked 5x03 scene is basically the worst thing ever. I obviously had to fix it. So here you go. I'm guessing that episode happens at least a few weeks into the future because Chloe seems completely healed, so I wrote this with that in mind. I hope you like it!_

—

Holly is panicking.

And it's not just because her girlfriend overheard her friend being a royal asshole and Holly completely did _not_ defend her. That's definitely part of it. But it's also the look that was on Gail's face when Holly turned from the bar, drinks in hand.

She's used to Gail's bluster and bite. She's used to her throwing sarcasm and attitude up around her like a wall. But tonight there was no fire. No indignant anger. No fight. She looked like she wasn't surprised at all, like she expected Holly to let her down and Holly _hates _that.

Holly wanted so badly to be different from all the people who hurt Gail in the past, all the people who didn't cherish her the way she deserves to be cherished. She wanted Gail to never doubt Holly's presence in her life—and instead she hurt her.

And now she can't find her. And she's freaking out.

She pulls her car into a gas station and cuts the engine; then she picks up her phone, swallows her pride, and calls Traci. She answers after a few rings.

"Hello?" Traci practically shouts. Holly can hear what sounds like cheering behind her.

"Traci, it's Holly," Holly says, raising her voice so Traci will hear her over the din.

"Holly? Gail's Holly?"

"Yes," Holly says. "Look I…I need your help. I fucked up. Is Gail—"

"She's here," Traci says.

Holly closes her eyes, squeezing the steering wheel as a surge of relief washes over her. "Where?" she asks.

Traci hesitates for only second before rattling off an address. Holly thanks her quickly, before disconnecting and putting her car into gear.

—

Holly walks into what looks like a converted warehouse and is immediately slammed with a wall of sound. The place is packed with law enforcement and the booze have clearly been flowing freely for a while. Loud music is pouring from speakers scattered around the room and everyone is shouting at each other to be heard over the noise.

She pauses just inside the door and scans the crowd for Gail. She doesn't see her, but she does spot Oliver and immediately lurches in his direction, snagging his sleeve before he can disappear into the crowd. He turns towards her and grins with recognition.

"Holly, right?" he says, pointing at her. His cheeks are flushed, his eyes slightly glazed. Holly guesses he's more than a few drinks into the night.

She nods, relieved he recognizes her. "Yes. It's good to see you again. Is, uh, is Gail around?"

Oliver cocks his head at her, an unreadable look flickering through his eyes. "Yes," he says. He pauses. "Something happen?"

"Yes."

"You fuck up?"

"Royally."

He grins at her honesty. "So fix it," he says, patting her on the shoulder. "She's over there."

He hooks a thumb over his shoulder and Holly follows the motion, immediately spotting Gail leaning against a nearby wall. "Thank you," she murmurs, already moving towards Gail.

She's standing apart from the festivities, her gaze distant and undeniably sad. Holly feels her throat tighten, the guilt rising swiftly in her chest. She reaches Gail a moment later and pauses hesitantly a few feet away.

Gail lifts her gaze to Holly's face, regarding her steadily. There's no anger. Her normally bright, crystalline blue eyes are dull. She looks resigned.

"Hi," Holly says.

Gail blinks and looks away. "What are you doing here? Slumming it with all these cops?"

"Gail…"

"It's fine," Gail snaps, taking a long pull from the beer in her hand. "You're friend is right. You _are _too good for me. So why don't we just end this now, hm? No harm, no foul. No hard feelings."

"I don't _want _to end it," Holly says fiercely, taking another step towards Gail. "I'm so sorry, Gail. Those things Lisa said…they're inexcusable. And I'm sorry I didn't stand up for you. I should have and I…that's inexcusable too."

Gail doesn't say anything right away. Holly waits, her heart in her throat, wondering if she's already ruined the best thing that's ever happened to her.

"Do you agree with her?"

"No," Holly answers immediately. "Absolutely not."

"But I'm just a cop."

"You're not _just _a cop," Holly says. "You're a ridiculously brave, talented, dedicated cop. You're a loyal friend, an awesome girlfriend, and secretly a giant mush ball. You're also a terrible softball player. And you hog the covers."

Gail scowls at her immediately, some of that familiar fire flickering in her eyes. "I do _not_ hog the covers." She huffs and takes another sip of her beer. "Maybe if _someone_ didn't insist on keeping the temperature in her bedroom below freezing, I wouldn't have to take such drastic measures."

Holly chances a smile and another step closer, until she's standing right in front of Gail. "You challenge me, Gail, in the best way. You challenge me and frustrate me and love me better than anyone else ever has."

Gail swallowed thickly, blinking to keep sudden tears at bay. "I do?"

Holly nods. "You do. And just so you know…Lisa is on serious probation. I made it clear that a _lot_ of groveling and apologizing would have to happen before I even consider forgiving her."

Gail sniffs quietly, dropping her gaze to the floor. It twists Holly's heart to see her lingering uncertainty. "Do you think you could ever find a way to forgive me?" she asks quietly.

Gail looks up at her again, the wariness gradually fading from her eyes. "Yes," she says steadily. So brave. "But you better not fuck up again."

"I won't," Holly promises.

Gail leans into her then and Holly immediately slips her arms around her waist, tugging her forward until she can feel Gail's body all along the length of hers. Gail wraps her arms around Holly's neck and presses her face into her neck, breathing in deep and exhaling with a shaky sigh.

"I don't know what you did to me, but I seem to be falling in love with you."

Holly inhales sharply. "You are?" she breathes.

"Yes," Gail says quietly, her body trembling slightly in Holly's arms. She's never felt so vulnerable before, so undone, mostly because she made sure no one ever got close enough to have any sort of power over her. _Please don't hurt me_, she begs silently.

Holly presses a soft kiss to the sweet triangle of skin behind Gail's ear. "I'm so in love with you, Gail," she breathes. "I don't know what I ever did to deserve you."

Holly's words make Gail shudder and press closer. She feels like she'll never be able to get close enough to Holly.

"I'm still kind of pissed, you know," Gail says a moment later.

"You have every right to be extremely pissed, but…"

Gail pulls back enough to see Holly's face. "But what?"

"Are you too pissed off to have makeup sex?"

Gail squints at her. "Is it still makeup sex if I'm still pissed?"

"Hmm, good point. We could always have hot hate sex."

"That seems slightly inappropriate considering the…_declarations_ we just made. How about slightly angry, I-really-fucking-love-you sex?"

"That's the one," Holly agrees, grinning. She presses close again, her mouth ghosting along Gail's jaw, before nipping lightly at her chin. "Then maybe some quality snuggle time?"

"I call little spoon," Gail declares.

"You're always little spoon," Holly points out.

"You complaining?"

"Oh, no, far from it. I love the way you nestle your cute little butt against my—"

Gail abruptly clamps a hand over Holly's mouth. "Don't. I'm already way too turned on as it is."

"My car's right outside."

Gail snags Holly's hand and starts to drag her towards the exit. When they make it outside, Holly pulls her to a stop and tugs her close again. "I really do love you, you know. So much."

Gail regards her quietly for a moment, her eyes trailing over Holly's face. She reaches out and brushes her thumb over Holly's full lower lip, her gaze warm and reverent and more than a little possessive. "I know." She kisses Holly hard. "Let's go home."

—

_So. Love it? Hate it? Let me know! _

_Say hi on tumblr: magyproductions (DOTtumblrDOTcom) _


	2. Redux

_A couple people asked for this and I couldn't resist._

—

Holly drags Gail inside her apartment and reaches around her to shut the door. She holds Gail's gaze as she unbuttons her jacket and drops it to the floor, before toeing off her boots, and backing away towards the bedroom.

Gail nearly trips over herself to get rid of her own coat and boots, before she hurries after Holly. She catches up to her in the bedroom doorway, catches her around the waist, presses her against the wall.

Holly presses against Gail unabashedly, rubbing her tight nipples over Gail's already-flushed chest. "Did you have fun tonight?" Gail asks suddenly.

Holly squirms against her, trying to put enough space between their bodies so that she can see Gail's face, but Gail's body is rigid as stone, unwavering. She presses impossibly closer to Holly, her mouth at Holly's ear. "Did you?"

Holly can hear Gail's labored breath as she trembles against her. And suddenly, Holly understands. _I'm having fun_. "Oh god," she groans, her mouth pressed to Gail's neck. "You're so much more to me than fun."

"Am I?" Gail presses.

Holly bites back the impatient whine that rises in her throat. Gail needs this reassurance, and she wants so badly to give it to her. "Yes," she breathes. She nips at Gail's jaw, feels Gail shudder against her. "I love you. You're everything."

"_Holly_," Gail gasps, her hips jerking involuntarily against Holly. "Jesus. I need you."

"I know," Holly murmurs. She strokes Gail's back, massages her neck. "I'll take care of you."

—

Gail doesn't know when it happens, but somewhere between kissing Holly in the doorway and making her come on the bed a few minutes later, her anger fades. It's as if she blinks and it's gone and all she sees is Holly.

She's so beautiful. Her dark hair is fanned across the pillow, her eyes slightly glazed, her face slack with pleasure. She pushes down around Gail's hand, her head snapping back at the sudden pressure just where she needs it. "God, Gail…"

Her breath is coming in gasps, her hips moving urgently now. "I'm coming again. Oh, I am—"

Gail watches, rapt, Holly comes undone underneath her, pleasure raining down her face. hot, slick muscles contracting around Gail's gently fluttering fingers. "You're so beautiful, Hol," Gail gasps, her chest tight. "I really fuckin' love you."

Holly grins, looking supremely satisfied in every way possible. "I love you, too."

Gail smiles and relaxes against Holly's body. Holly parts her legs and Gail settles into the cradle of her hips. Gail groans as Holly's thighs squeeze around her. She rocks against Holly, moaning softly at the friction. Gail presses her mouth to Holly's neck, her lips parted in pleasure. She's already so far gone. Feeling Holly come pretty much pushed her to the brink.

Holly sneaks a hand between their bodies and squeezes Gail's clit. Gail jerks against her, a helpless sob of release catching in her throat.

"Oh fuck, I'm coming," she groans softly.

"Come in my mouth," Holly murmurs, tugging at Gail's waist, but Gail is already too far-gone.

"Oh God, next time, I'm—" She shudders violently in Holly's arm, a helpless whimper escaping as she comes apart, her hips jerking against Holly's hand. She sighs, her eyelids suddenly heavy. She shifts over slightly so that she can curl into Holly's body, wrap an arm around her stomach, nuzzle at her sweet-smelling throat.

"So that was it, huh?" Holly asks a moment later, her voice slightly husky. She trails the tips of her fingers up Gail's spine, before pressing her hand to the nape of Gail's neck.

"What?" Gail mumbles, fighting against the sudden lassitude that's settled over her limbs.

"Slightly angry, I-really-fucking-love-you sex?"

Gail grins a lazy, self-satisfied grin. "Oh. Yeah, that was it."

Holly leans forward and kisses the cocky smile off Gail's mouth. "Not bad, Officer," she whispers, smirking slightly.

Gail grumbles low in her throat, but she's too sleepy to muster her trademark sarcasm. She was so nervous about meeting Holly's friends that she didn't sleep well the past few days. And then when she thought that Holly—

She presses her eyes shut, willing the despair to stay away, but it gnaws at her, the memory of the emptiness she'd felt when she thought she'd lost Holly.

"I'm right here," Holly whispers suddenly, her lips pressed to Gail's hair. "I'm not going anywhere. You just get some sleep, baby."

Gail manages a slight nod and burrows closer to Holly, tightening her arm around her waist, breathing in her comforting smell. Within moments she's sound asleep and Holly lets herself drift with Gail safe in her arms.

—

_Hope you enjoyed—review if you're so inclined…_


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